


nothing to stop the flow of time

by mylomanya



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types
Genre: Bittersweet, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Light Angst, M/M, My First Fanfic, Unrequited Love, blue has it bad, blue really loves his routines, ngl its kinda sad, no beta we die like men, ok yall this is my first post here, red does not love routines, red leaves AGAIN, unbetad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-26
Updated: 2020-07-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:08:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25524130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mylomanya/pseuds/mylomanya
Summary: Blue has never been a man of impulse. He likes his routines, and has never been known to deviate of his own accord. But Red, driven by his impulses, has been a constant in Blue’s life for as long as he can remember.Blue is willing to live this contradiction, because as long as it’s Red, he’s content.
Relationships: Ookido Green | Blue Oak/Red
Kudos: 23





	nothing to stop the flow of time

**Author's Note:**

> hhhhhh this is my first fic and i wanted to write some unrequited angst because i hate myself like that and i thought i’d try my hand at it, it’s not as angsty as i hoped BUT it’s unrequited as hell and i intend to keep it that way :)

He shouldn’t be doing this.

It was currently 7 PM, on the dot; he should’ve been turning off the light to his office and welcoming Eevee onto his shoulder as she set in for their usual walk home; actually, could it even be called usual anymore? He couldn’t remember the last time he’d actually followed that particular routine because here he was again, staying at the gym after hours, doing something he knew he shouldn’t be doing but he really couldn’t help himself.

He allowed himself to sigh, releasing a breath he hadn’t known he was holding as he continued to flit back and forth between various news sites and web pages on his office computer. Hey, he was human, and everyone had their faults; his just happened to be... whatever the hell this was, he still wasn’t sure what to call it except something that he really, really shouldn’t be doing.

It wasn’t his fault, really. The more he thought about it, the more excuses he came up with to justify what he was doing, which only took more time out of what could be time spent sifting through the 15 tabs he had pulled up on his computer (yes, he actually checked).

Pressure against his leg signalled him to tear his gaze away from the screen for one second; he met the eyes of Eevee, black and round, a frown plastered on her face as her attempts to cajole her trainer into leaving for home continued to fail.

He sighed; if he had one weakness in the world, it was the pouty face his precious Eevee managed to pull off. One quiver of those black eyes and he was like putty in her paws.

“Okay, okay, ’Vee” he muttered, turning his gaze back to the computer. He sighed, admitting himself to how late it had gotten and that, cute as she may be, Eevee was right; glancing at the clock in the corner of his desktop, the numbers 8:25 flashed in brilliant white. Shit, he was supposed to have had locked everything up almost half an hour ago. No wonder Eevee had been so vocal in her desire to leave.

He made one last click, back to the first tab he had opened; his eyes glazed over the big, bold letters once, twice, three more times, before he sighed once more to himself in acquiescence and shut the damn thing down. He wouldn’t admit to it, but this was becoming the new norm. The new routine. Spending almost half an hour after closing, browsing his silly work computer in whatever he thought he was doing, he didn’t know, when he knew he could just as easily continue his little jaunt into the front pages of the internet from the safety of his home.

But again, he’d never admit it, and the paws currently pulling at his pant leg proved much more distracting than dissecting the same 15 tabloids one more time.

As he stood from his desk, Eevee hopped onto his shoulder as flashes of his old closing routine skipped through his memory.

As he walked out, the dark, emboldened letters of the last article he’d opened unfurled in his mind and sat displayed in their anguishing glory.

_**Champion Red Seen in Unova during Indigo League Silence** _

* * *

He watched Eevee with glazed eyes, his usually spiked, honey colored hair drooping not from exhaustion but from his worsening attitude. It’d only been what, 3 months, since Red decided to up and leave again; really, he shouldn’t have been surprised, leaving abruptly was sort of Red’s whole gimmick. From disappearing up to Mount Silver for 3 goddamn years, to eagerly tagging along with Blue to regions across the world in their youth, Red’s impending exodus from Kanto was something he should’ve seen from miles away.

Alas, he hadn’t, and he had his own feelings to blame.

As Eevee curled up next to him on his worn leather couch, the television before them blaring news feeds from across the world, Blue let his mind wander to when exactly things had gotten this bad.

He’d never been good with spontaneity, he’d just learned to deal with it. Becoming Pokemon League Champion didn’t happen by following a tight set of rules, no, it was all about one’s ability to adapt in certain situations.

Something Red had always been good at.

  
He frowned; he knew how far comparing himself with Red would get him, so he shook off the thought and opted for something more... lighthearted.

In all actuality it only served to derail his current train of thought by bringing back his... _what even had he been doing back at the gym?_

If you asked him, he would’ve automatically said that he did it out of worry; Red was, by all accounts, his best friend. The fierce rivalry he’d nursed between himself and the other man for what had been years of his life had only proven to be more cumbersome than beneficial, and Blue finally relented in his efforts to harbor negative emotions for Red when the crimson clad trainer had asked him to accompany him to Alola.

It had been something about a Battle Tree and setting up a Pokemon League in the island region, Blue wasn’t good with semantics, but he couldn’t deny the way his heart had leapt at the offer. No matter how much he tried to suppress it, he knew, deep down inside, that the feelings he had masked as hate for the other trainer were actually incredible admiration and unrequited love.

His eyes narrowed as he sat on the couch, his hand moving to scratch behind Eevee’s ears; she was getting older, just like he was, but he still knew all of her favorite spots to be pet and scratched. He let himself fall into the domesticity of it all; him, sitting at home on a work night with Eevee, looking forward to the next day, and the day after that, and the day after that in what he could only hope was a routine he’d be able to settle into.

Of course, when he first realized his feelings for his ex rival, any and all hopes for a routine-led life had shattered in an instant as he struggled with the unconstrained nature of love.

Perhaps he’d always known he loved Red, if he really sat and thought about it; the admiration Red received from all the people around him, gym leaders, other trainers, hell, even Blue’s own grandfather wasn’t something he ever wanted to take from Red. In reality, it was something Blue desperately wanted to share with him, to be able to continue their childhood friendship into their trainer careers.

However, fate seemed to have other plans as Blue battled with the impulsivity of life that came with being a trainer in silence. The wins and losses (especially against Red), the dangers of being a child alone in the world, the hellish reality that seemed to tinge every waking moment Blue spent away from home, all were factors in Blue’s self-led journey away from his family, away from his friends, away from Red.

He’d take it all back now, if he could. He’d do anything to mend his past with Red, anything to prevent him from escaping up Mount Silver, because no matter how much Red told him “ _It wasn’t your fault_ ” Blue had no choice but to think that, deep down, Red actually thought it was his fault because _why else would Red just up and leave for the top of the tallest mountain in Kanto without telling anyone for 3 fucking years—_

Eevee perked her head up towards Blue; his amber eyes darted down to face her, a sheepish look crossing his face.

“Sorry about that, ’Vee.” His heart was beating fast in his chest; whenever he thought to much about Red’s disappearance, his own self-loathing bubbled to the surface. He was just thankful that it only ever did so when he wasn’t around other people, because he wasn’t sure what he’d do if he had to explain himself to anyone.

He tried to settle back into his thoughts, the previous train picking up from where it stopped, Blue’s mind darting to Red’s ability to take anything at face value and just... deal with it. If there was one thing that really drew Blue to Red, it was the latter’s ability to adapt.

Blue had never been good at adapting. Hell, it had taken him 3 years to adapt to Red’s disappearance, and even when the ex-Champion came down he still hadn’t fully accepted the weight of Red’s actions. What leaving the world for 3 years actually meant. To him, Red was back, and he could fall back into that old routine of being rivals, of having something to fight for, always trying to one up the other in an attempt to... _what_?

_What_ had he even been trying to prove back then? Blue shook his head and laughed to himself as he thought about his youth; now wasn’t the time to dwell upon his past, not when he’d accepted everything that had happened as just another part of his shitty life. Red proving himself the better trainer countless times, his grandfather constantly avoiding his gaze whenever Blue visited after Red disappeared, how he’d try to ignore the way his heart hammered in his chest whenever Blue faced Red in battle, instead chalking it up to the heat of the moment or something equally as stupid.

It had taken Blue years, longer than Red had been gone for, longer than his career as Virdian City’s gym leader, to actually suck it up and admit to himself that he was _in love with Red._

It was something that came easily to him now; something that felt like it’d always been a part of him. He could say it so easily, a 3-word concept spoken into being that meant so, so much to him whenever he thought about it. It was deep rooted in his admiration for everything Red, from his looks to his attitude to even the little things that went unnoticed; Blue always felt a bit stalkerish, but his need to take in as much of the other trainer as he could during their short meetings had evolved into a monstrosity of a crush that left Blue breathless sometimes.

Blue wished he could just outright say it. It’d been 6 years since Red’s descent from the mountain; they were both grown adults now leading grown adult lives, with jobs and desires and needs of their own. He wished he had the strength to approach Red, look into those beautiful, sparkling crimson eyes of his, and just say “I love you” like he wished he could.

But he knew he’d never get the chance.

Red had always been a friend. He’d always been a friend to Red, his platonic other half, the person Red could rely on more than anyone else. That reliance was based on a friendship that went back over a decade, and if Blue did anything that could breach Red’s trust in him in any way, including a sudden barage of emotion from the former, not only would Blue be all alone, but Red would have no one to turn to and then they’d both be fucked.

So, Blue sucked up those feelings, bottled them up, and shoved them on the back shelf of his mind until he was completely alone, when he could unscrew the cap on that bottle and revel in his own unrequited feelings.

In the mean time, Blue took to doing... whatever it was he’d been doing to placate his longing for the other man’s presence.

Before, Red had been local. He’d been a flight away on Pigeot no matter where he was in Kanto, always nearby and easy to reach. Safe, Blue told himself. Even when he was on Mount Silver from time to time, Blue trusted Red enough to know that he wouldn’t do something foolish, like fling himself from the top of Mount Silver or forget to eat every couple of days.

But now... now Red was gone again, on another journey to “find himself,” as Red would put it, and Blue was miserable.

He’d been too quick in his assumptions; when he and Red returned from Pasio, the last big trip the two of them had really taken together (and that trip lasted a good long time, too), Blue had just assumed that Red would be content with hanging around Kanto and Johto for a while. Blue had been too quick to forget Red’s unpredictability, settling into a routine that he could keep track of.

Wake up, go to the gym, come home to the apartment he shared with Red, repeat.

It was a far cry from the life of danger Red had acquainted himself with in his trainer days.

No wonder Red loathed it.

Blue wouldn’t lie to himself; whenever he’d come home from the gym and find Red, having already eaten dinner and busying himself doing god knows what (watching television, playing with his phone, whatever he could do to placate himself), he always catch a glimpse of... _something_ on the Champion’s face.

Blue had never known what to call it except “disappointment.”

For the longest time, Blue couldn’t figure out why Red was disappointed. Was it him? Was it his life? Was it his house? Blue had been so quick to assume that it was all his fault instead of taking a step back and looking at the reality of the situation. It was a long time since then, since he’d last seen such a look of disappoint cross his love’s face, that Blue knew that it was because Red was out of his element.

The domestic life was not Red’s calling, and Blue had learned to respect that.

It was all he could do, anyways; he couldn’t tell Red his feelings for fear of rejection, so the next best thing was to see Red happy.

And if Red was happy on his own, away from Kanto, then by Arceus’s divine hoof Blue would make sure he was happy.

... However, this did not apply at all to Blue, because no matter how much he loved Red, Blue would always feel the ache of longing deep in his chest, and he would eventually get to where he was now.

Reading international news articles about Red on work time, then coming home and watching international news on the television for some hope, any hope, that he’d be able to see a flash of crimson eyes or a tuft of raven hair.

He sighed to himself on the couch, breaking from his musings while finally deciding to turn off the television. Enough was enough, and no matter how much he worried about Red or kept tabs on the man, even he knew when to quit. Besides, he knew he’d be right back to this brand new routine the next day, watching Red from the safety of the other side of the screen, desperately wishing that Red could find comfort in him instead of the various regions he found himself visiting.

But again, those were only Blue’s wishes.

He scooped up Eevee and nuzzled her close, lifting himself from the couch and heading towards his own room. He stopped in the middle of the hallway, Eevee content to lounge in his arms, and turned his head to the left.

Red’s room.

It was just as messy as the man himself. Even with the door closed, Blue could envision the disorganized clutter of Red’s room from memory. Clothes strewn across the floor, bed never made, Pokeballs and electronics scattered here and there; all part of Red’s own system.

No matter how much the site got on Blue’s nerves, it warmed Blue’s core whenever he thought about it because it was so undeniably Red. It felt almost too intimate, knowing such trivial information about Red like how he doesn’t clean his room (probably carried over from the days he spent surviving on a damn mountain).

But Blue didn’t mind. No amount of dismantling Blue’s admittedly perfect household could ever diminish the flame Blue had burning for Red. He was in love, and it might’ve taken years for him to understand it, but he finally did.

He was in love with Red, and there was nothing he could do about it because he knew Red only saw him as a friend and nothing more. That’s all he’d ever been, a friend.

But he didn’t mind. He’d get as much of Red as he could by being his friend, even if that meant putting himself in second place. He’d do anything for Red.

And despite his adversity to the spontaneous life, to the whirlwind of chaos stemming from his unrequited love that always sprang up whenever Red entered his life, he was content.

As long as it was _Red_ , he was content.


End file.
